I'm taking a semi-sabbatical

I shared on my social media today that I’m deleting my apps for a while and keeping Substack as my main platform. I’ll continue to share to my newsletter because writing (and sharing ideas) is deeply healing and uplifting for me.

It’s more so a matter of emptying myself. That’s what the theme of this sabbatical is.

Becoming empty.

What do I mean by that?

I’ve been holding onto a lot. Going through major life changes, many unexpected losses, including the loss of a man I loved yesterday, and I’ve been pushing through it all. Taking on more projects, planning new trips, trying new things, creating new connections. Reading more. Moving my body more. Consuming more.

I’ve been building up and building up it feels like.

Yesterday when I received the news I just felt my bandwidth of how much I can hold has reached its limit. I need to take time to release. Not just a full moon releasing ceremony, a major honouring of everything I’ve moved through followed by an intentional letting go.

I realize I’m very fortunate to have the space to be able to do this. I purchased property in the mountains here in Canada that I’m able to return to and not worry about paying bills while I go through this season of my life. I’ll still be running our membership program as well.

I’m naturally very motivated. I want to push through everything. When things get hard, I’m a warrior. I want to keep showing up in my power and become stronger from every obstacle.

My first thought when I woke up this morning was, “I have to make a YouTube about this!” “I need to launch my program sooner!” Then proceeded to mentally list all of the things I had to fill my day with to power through this situation and “make the best of it”.

But for the first time in my life, I’m tired. I have flown past deep trauma, many losses, and major transitions in my life, while continuing to show up daily for years for my clients and community.

Sometimes we don’t need to make the best of it, and we just have to be in it, as it is.

It may be hard to remain off of social media because in a way it does bring me joy, but my intention is to not consume at this time.

I’m emptying.

I can find it challenging to honour what I’m moving through and the grieving process, when you’re looking at others’ highlight reels every day. It makes me think, Why am I here feeling crappy when I can hop on a flight to Mexico and be dancing on the beach under the moon like them?

Then I proceed to book a flight and forget about what was on my heart, desiring to be felt and acknowledged.

It’s easy to do that. To distract ourselves. To not sit with the hard stuff. To numb ourselves. That’s why I’m choosing not to at this time.

I am still in shock and processing. There was a lot I recently moved through with this man so there’s many emotions around it. If I’m comfortable sharing more about this process I will in later posts.

What I do know is it requires my presence.

If you’re feeling inspired by my time away from social media, I invite you to do the same with me.

Here’s my main intentions during this pause:

🦋 empty empty empty. simplify. minimalize. release: materials & energies.

🦋 spend time every day in silent nature, listening and feeling.

🦋 honour the situations i’ve moved through and the people i’ve lost. holding releasing ceremonies & coming to deep gratitude for the moments we shared.

🦋 giving myself space to mourn, and to just be. not pushing myself to be anything other than what i am and how i feel in any given moment.

🦋 committing to my daily yoga & spiritual practice

🦋 being very present with those in my life and creating beautiful moments with them

🦋 not consuming (tv/social media) except reading books & substack articles.

🦋 perhaps planning a sexy comeback when i’m ready to re-emerge from the forest. we’ll see about that. ;)

If you choose to take a break, even only a day or two, let me know your intentions!

Thank you for being here with me loves, for reading my words and sharing this space with me. I appreciate you and I’m very glad I started this newsletter just before this chapter came so I can continue to share my thoughts and process with you.

We’re in this together.

With love & sacred grief,

Krystal x